See the Changes

The cheese counter at my new job

The past month has been a bit of a whirlwind, so please excuse me if I haven't been on here as much as I'd like. I went from 2 jobs to 1...then 2 and now if you count my emerging herbal business and health coaching it's at a magic three...

I'm not going to lie and say I have felt confident through all of this. I have spent a lot of time wondering about what I should be doing, dreaming about what I want to be doing...and that shifts and changes a lot these days. My original dream of working remotely and at retreat houses still sits in my future but for now I am trying my best to settle into the present and accept the opportunities and gifts that keep coming my way. I don't take any of them for granted...not even the smallest things (like snuggling with my Sam or chatting with a customer about an awesome cheese I just tried). All of these things, I believe, are happening for a reason and I have decided to stop worrying about the shoulds.

I am also trying to shift my focus off of money. This is a hard thing to do because, after culinary and health coaching school (as well as some rocky employment situations of late), I have been feeling very insecure about my bank account. Since returning from Scotland, I have accrued a lot of bills I didn't have before (car, tuition etc) but I continue to be provided for in one way or another. I also feel like a lot of seeds I have been planting are starting to sprout and it's exciting to begin seeing the progress. I am also putting an intention out there to return to Scotland next I want to be able to put aside some money for that. My travel bug is flapping it's wings rather loudly these days.

When we make big shifts and changes in our lives, some of the ripples take a while to settle into something new. I have been noticing the me that is emerging quite a lot lately. Maybe it's because Spring is coming. I had been looking at myself through the past's eyes and not realizing that "she" has morphed into someone new. The biggest example I can give is this whole running thing I have started (more on that later). When I was younger and plagued with asthma and allergies, I had no endurance for such things. So naturally I believed I wouldn't be able to sustain a long run. I find I am surprising myself every time I go out and can feel myself shed a new layer with every lap I take.

Then there is my health coaching and herbal practice. I have begun making stuff again and will be turning my talents outward instead of keeping it all close to home. So far I am making moisturizer, anti-inflammatories, lip balm and natural deodorant (and I even have a bunch of pre-orders).

So that's the current deal. I had been so busy worrying about making big changes, that I didn't see all the change that was already happening. Now to plan my next trip ;)


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